Friday, 31 May 2013

Quick! Get your fix of splatterbutt - I mean happiness - before it's too late!

The world has gone mad.
A man died by beaver in Belarus.  Can you believe it?

Here at home, the boy was trying to take his coat off the hook this morning when he dislodged one of the helmets hung up high.  It landed on his head with a crack and left him with a lump, poor lad. There's a bit of rich irony:  who knew you could get a head injury from a helmet?

Q: What do helmets have in common with Robba the Ford?
A: Neither of them are all they're cracked up to be.

And all joking aside, a cyclist died on the Stanley Park Causeway this week when she fell off the sidewalk in front of a bus.  No helmet on Earth could have saved her, bless her soul. And now once again the city has a fixation on cycling infrastructure as the raging debate over transportation priorities takes the spotlight once again.  

Gandhi was so wise when he said that every fight is the difference between two perspectives illuminating the same truth.  You know which side of the fence I'm on.  For years there has been talk of extending the seawall along Point Grey road so that you can walk or ride all the way around Vancouver's waterfront.  Kitsilano has some of the highest percentages of daily cyclists, and so the route would certainly be well utilized, but still there is a lot of dissent because the homeowners on the part of the road in question fear the effects of losing their on-street parking.

But I can't help myself.  I am fixed in my belief that bikes are a better way to get around, though maybe not all bikes all of the time.  Take fixed gear bikes, for example.

Are they really a good idea?
I can see the point of them on a track, or even a bumpy, old, paved running field (And ouch! What a bad idea THAT must have been....!)  

At least on a track a cyclist doesn't have to react to bad drivers and unpredictable pedestrians.  But it's important to have an open mind, and I've never tried riding one before, so it was high time to give it a go. And go and go and go and ...WAIT!  How do you stop?

It's okay, there's actually a brake on this baby.  Thank Goodness.

I wanted to find that fixie zen that people talk about so I didn't use the brake, but neither did I go very fast! 

My inner chicken came out to play, and that made it more annoying than zen, but it was interesting, and not as hard to get used to as I thought it would be.  In the end it is still a bicycle like any other, and as with another bike, riding a fixie means you're on the right track.

It will boost your health and wellness,
 as long as you can stop when you need to.
I don't know about you, but I'd feel like a real tool if I hit some poor unsuspecting pedestrian.

And I would feel even worse if I were the bus driver who hit that poor cyclist this week.  That's why it's mad that our energy and transportation policies are so bloody pre-historic.  
But whatevs.
I sleep well at night knowing I'm doing the right thing.
It's true you might be in for a soaking every once in a while if you ride a bike in Vancouver,

but don't focus on the rain,

and never mind the occasional splatterbutt, either.
Fix your attention instead on how much better you feel every time you ride somewhere
instead of driving there.


Take another look at your options

Keep in mind that the madness lies not in riding a bike in the rain, 
but in getting into a car every time you need to go somewhere.  
It's ride your bike to work week, but you don't have to limit it to one week. 
Give up your own personal madness, fix your thoughts upon your destination, and give it a go.


  1. We have some of that white fluffy stuff forecast for Sunday. Can I wait till then to do my splatterbutting ;)

    1. Snow and splatter everything

    2. Did you go out and play and get really dirty?

    3. It's Monday here today so a bit later.

      ginheed heating Yes please!

  2. There was so much to love in the beaver attack article. For example: "The Forestry Ministry said it was encouraging the hunting of beavers, once prized for their fur and gland secretions..."

    Thank you for the link.

    1. IIIII know, RIGHT??!

      Truth IS stranger than fiction.

  3. Beavers, walls, and water...all complementary! Hope you're fine! Great stuff...RS

    1. Thank you.
      Yes. I'm strong, and buoyant, and even when it hurts, I love my life.

  4. Ha! My better half was the recipient of a large, warm dose of splatterbutt two nights ago!

    1. It's always best when it's hot and fresh.

  5. "beaver hunting holds little sporting interest." What a strange society. Even if the whole society was gay 51% of the population would be hunting beavers.

    1. Egg-zactly. And in the end what better sport is there?

  6. Advice to Belarus fisherman: Never, ever GRAB a beaver. Start subtly and gently, with no jerky movements.

  7. For some reason, I expected to your butt to be smaller. I am SOOOO happy it isn't.

    1. Me, too! It's funny, cause those jeans are falling off now, but my butt looks bigger in them now than it did before.
      Still. It works for me, this butt, so I'm not complaining... :)

  8. Splatterbutt is my new favourite word. Fortunately I have an anti-splatterbutt device on my bicycle.