Hey! If the universe really is infinite in all directions, then I am the center of the known universe, and so are you!

Hello from Vancouver!
SPOILER ALERT: this is all about me.  Me Me Me Me Me Me!! My favourite topic. Heh. Yep, and even better? It's up front and personal.

Velopalooza 2015 Pop Up Performance ride - the bellydancing stop

To you, my 100 cherished readers, tolerant, open minded, patient and gorgeous supporters: Thank you for being you, and for being here for me. Thank you for your personal messages, and for your consistent readership, and for your kindness and generosity. Um and to whomever keeps sending me those lovely, lacy little ditties? Thank you enormously! It's just that I'd need to see a certain type of physician on Harley St in London before I could ever hope to fill those particular cups, much as wish to. And to all of you: My God,  I've really missed you. I fell apart for a bit there. (Get it? Fell apart? connective tissue issues? Heh heh. I'll always appreciate my sense of humour even if nobody else does!) Above all, your sweet steady little stream of clicks and likes and shares helps enormously. Thank you. You rock. So.... (she says in her best Jewish grandmother tone of voice) "How have you been? Have you done anything amazing with your summer?"

I spent a fair bit of time at the races during the early part of the season.

I raced and I trained and I trained and I raced.

My happy place. This is way better than drugs. And that's me, third from the left.

                     I racked up enough points that I definitely qualify to register in cat 3 next year.

                                                                    Oh, and this:

Woooo hoooooo! 2nd overall on the Vets ride!!

I was pretty chuffed with my progress this year, and believe it or not, I was doing everything I could to minimize my risks on the bike. Seriously. I even left races and rides if it got a little sketchy or if I was feeling off in any way. I missed a lot of great miles with the Vets that I would have fought hard to stay in for last year, just cause I knew the consequences of a mistake at those speeds. Saved myself grief a few times, for sure. I was really happy to be doing what I love, and I was thrilled to be writing about bikes and cycling for work, too. Sounds perfect, right?  In theory.

I almost didn't care that nobody actually likes me.

Why can't you post spokeNscene on Reddit, for example? Hmmm? You can find my legs on websites all over the place, but I wrote to a couple of them and nobody even bothered to answer back. So lots of folks like my legs, but you won't find a lot of people talking about spokeNscene, nor asking about the bicycle enhanced lifestyle that made those legs happen. People are so strange. But then so are the Gods we so happliy worship.  Those damned deities have a bold sense of humour, that's for sure! Over the years, I've heard their laughter again and again, and I can most definitely hear it now. It is ironic. As strong and powerful as its muscles are, this body of mine is even more vulnerable and weak on the inside.

It's my fault. I neglected the bouncing for decades and now that mistake has come home to roost. Never mind. I never knew... and it's ok anyway. I can fix it, and maybe quickly if I do it right. I gave up alcohol. Well. Almost entirely. For years I consoled myself that though I can't have coffee or chocolate I can still drink a glass of wine with dinner. Very funny. My impact-free lifestyle has made me much, much more susceptible to fracturing than most people. Bikes have been my wheelchairs for many many years, and suddenly (or so it seems) I am ridiculously fragile. That No Impact EDS lifestyle is having a huge impact on my overall health.  Yes, I have broken again, this time a collarbone and a rib. And at the same time, my immune system is weakened, almost non existant. It's that I'm ... well... falling apart. (Cue shingles and months of antibiotic use to fight a series of infections. Yuck.) The Gods are laughing cause as much as I am fired up and ready to advocate for cycling safety and infrastructure expansion, my body instead has me laid up and waiting on healing.

You're thinking that I am a klutz, a spaz, and just generally, ridiculously uncoordinated, and you're absolutely right. But it's so much more than that. My body has gone into full meltdown.

And I object!! This is not Who I Am! I'm mutarded, for sure, but I'm strong! Healthy! Fit!! I never catch a cold, nor the flu, I haven't called in sick in many, many years, even though I am and always have been vulnerable to all of the little things that most folks don't bat an eye at. At 16, a staph ulcer erupted and left a purple heart scar on my left hip. Staph is in soil and doesn't affect most people, but I have had those flesh eating, skin melting infections a few times. Very strange. I catch  baby diseases like hand foot and mouth. I have an anaphalactic reaction to chocolate or drink coffee, and that's just Not. Fair. I mean, come on!

Connective tissue is central to healthy organs and the vascular system, too. It's not all musculoskeletal, though it's easy to see how that system's health and wellness is dependent upon strong connective tissue. This article about Caroline Smith will tell you a little bit about what it's like to live with EDS, and how thoroughly it can affect every aspect of a person's life. Everyone with EDS has neck issues. Many of us require fusion of the vertebrae protecting the spinal column. I have herniated discs in many places along the spine and will most definitely require stabilization surgery of some sort sooner or later.

It's an invisible disability, but it is every bit as taxing as it would be if I were back in a wheelchair. I look very healthy, so you would never in a million years label me disabled if you met me off the street. Well, not unless you see me in a sling

or something,

or a neck brace or ski poles or some other form of body support. I am like half baked china. I crumble and break.

The internet has seen my arse all banged up a few times but nobody would ever, ever look at me and assume that I am disabled. Someone accused me of not understanding how serious a business bike racing really is. He meant it. I wondered if he could possibly understand how very well I understand the risks, and I tried not to laugh at the irony. He could never possibly understand how even a slight mishap can quickly become very painful for me.

Gratuitous ass shot. Daddy always said you have to play to your assets.

This photograph speaks volumes. It illustrates the principle that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I love that. It builds character. I am plenty strong, thank you kindly, and a colourful character, too. I train hard. I work hard. Seriously. I am committed. Dedicated. Passionate. I believe in pushing the red line as hard and often as possible, and I listen to and rest this vessel. I have to. I didn't have an x-ray taken for that particularly painful bump, (I've had 40 CT scans!) but I'm willing to bet that tailbone cracked. We weren't going fast at the time, but that doesn't matter. I have known a lot of pain this year. Too much pain. It has taken a great toll on my health and wellness. I do what I can to combat it naturally. (Naturally!) But now I am feeling unfit, and twenty pounds overweight, and so this is a good time to invite you, my peeps, along on a journey of healing, of purifying and cleansing, of shedding old toxic habits and renewing the body's ability to shine, to thrive.

Meditation gives you another perspective, whatever your situation.

I like to meditate, in stillness and in movement too. Every conscious breath counts, right? Wherever, whenever, whatever you're doing, it's probably a good moment to be conscious and aware. It's always a good time to be alert. Rare is that moment of pure, conscious awareness. It's good practise to meditate in a queue or waiting for an appointment, or at least it is for me, because those are the moments when I am most inclined to give in to ego, and become frustrated and out of sorts. It's surprising how quickly those moments add up; what a boon to have spent them in a moment's peace instead of that more self important state of stress and anxiety. If only I had the sage's sense of inner tranquility by nature, so that I wouldnl't have to wage an eternal battle with my big, fat ego. It's an ironic battle, that: the crusade for inner peace.

It's always appropriate to breathe deep into your belly, to relax and seek clarity. Always, and never is it more needed than when you feel you don't possibly have even one moment to spare for anything else. Time is the one thing we can't commoditize (is that a word?) perhaps because it actually is pricesless. Nobody likes to wait, right? That's what makes a long commute so soul destroying! (unless, say you're doing something you absolutely love to do as you're commuting. An avid reader might just adore the long train ride in to the city from Coquitlam, and this mutard loves a good ride first thing in the morning, any and every season of the year.) I don't actually suffer time thieves well, but anger actually suppresses the immune systems. Bikes rock because all of that daily travel time is also a moving meditation time, personal improvement time. I admire those people who handle their life's challenges with out that battle to get to calm acceptance. Adore one of em. You know, the kind of folks who quietly get on with doing what needs to be done, without swearing, or anything. Meditation helps with all of that lymph robbing anger

Certain people think that since I am fit, I am just putting it on. "EDS can't possibly be all that bad if she can ride like that, can it?" I actually overheard a family conversation in which this was the prevaling wisdom. That assumption is patently ridiculous, and never more so than when the Para Pan Am Games are happening.  Worse still are the people who think that I should stop riding, that it is too dangerous.  Sigh.

Any time you want to talk to me about the real danger on our roads, oh please yes. Let's. In the mean time, trust me, exercise is good for me and I do actually know what I am doing, Bikes are my mobility, doing away with them entirely is unthinkable, at least until someone can fix this mutarded genetic code. Bikes are so much more than active transportation and simple mobility. They are medicine. The enormous good they do for me is good for you, too. Don't knock it till you've lived it.

I wonder if people remember Olga the Magnificent and the things we learned about aging through her.  Fitness is the very cornerstone of my health and wellness. Ehlers is progressive and degenerative, and I have to do everything I can to battle the ravages of age.

It's how I fight back.

I battle unstable joints with stabilizing muscles. A wheelchair is already quietly waiting in the shadows. Well,  actually it's hiding in my bikes. but those bikes are also poerful medicine. Riding a bike stimulates the produciton of the happy chemicals you get from a good workout, And, they trigger the same chemicals as many of the prescription medications I am so often prescribed, too. I haven't yet suffered many of the worst aspects of the disease, (namely the episodes which involve internal bleeding and trigger the horrible seizures which are my mum's contribution to my interesting genetic combination.) because I learned to listen to my body's signals. I stay as fit as possible because I learned long ago that the fitter I am the better I feel. Serotonin, Dopamine, Endorphins, all of the brain's happy chemicals tend to flee the brain cursed with chronic and extreme pain. Riding long and hard is the best prescription for re-balancing the happy juice. I groove on that happy juice. Always have.

The honest to goodness truth is that I can't tell the difference between the high I feel from the combination of serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and -hopefully daily!- oxytocin (wink wink nudge nudge:) that I get from a red-line workout, and that state of euphoria that makes oxyxontin such a dangerous street drug. They are one and the same reaction in my brain. I often experience extreme pain. I always have and likely always will. That is why I am so well aquainted with the various types of pain relief as offered by the western medical institutions, as well as by the naturopathic and homeopathic, Traditional Chinese Medicine, ayurvedic, herbal, and I even shamanic disciplines.

Dope

I actually see a pain specialist these days,  He and his team were very happy with and quite vocal about how well practiced I am at all of the various aspects of pain control. I am surprised that it isn't more common for chronic pain sufferers to learn these coping techniques. It's a survivalist thing. I have to keep it up. It happened organically. I have lived with EDS for a fair few decades now and have learned a lot along the way. I had to. Like I said, I have made a few misakes along the, for sure. But I learned fromm them.  I listen and pay attention to what my body tells me, because my life is on the line, and becaise the consequences are so incredibly painful. I remember the lessons. Fortunately the body doesn't remember pain, but there is a lot to gain in retaining the tricks to handling it. Pain speaks for itself, right??

Sometimes people ask if I am a doctor. I love that. Nope, I am the opposite.

I love doctors, though. and they usually quite enjoy me. Not sure exactly why, but I hear it all the time. My doctor actually thanked me one day he said cause it's always interesting when I come to visit. Never a dull day, he said and he sees a LOT of me. (This is the MD who practices a form of ND and truly heals me.) Perhaps it's because I am that strange and unusual rare condition they studied in med school, come to life. The geneticists who diagnosed me were delighted with my competitive cycling lifestyle, insisting that it is the best way I might have managed to delay the degenerative damage this damned condition has scheduled for my joints, discs, valves and assorted connective tissues.

I have very limited mobility off of a bike because of the damage EDS has already done to my spine, and my hips, but on a bike I can go forever, or so it seems. EDS is a ruthless task master, Just when I figured I had worked out the best balance of life, well, just then twenty five or thirty years of an impact-free lifestyle came home to roost, and suddenly I am too brittle deep down inside, and very fragile. Another challenge, another adaptation. Now I bounce every day, to build my bone density and repair my immune system. It's an important aspect of babble's health K.I.S,S,  (that's Keep It Simple, Stupid). Do you remember? I mentioned it last year... I have neglected the second aspect for far too long, but as a checklist the KISS list stands: Move, Bounce, Breathe, Purify, Love a lot, Laugh, and Sleep.

The only problem with the KISS list is that it doesn't address how to address the repercussions of NOT living well for a while. It isn't just the bouncing. I have been taking prescription medications of some sort almost continually since my big crash in June 2014. My body is not happy. Stressed and overweight and burdened with toxic substances. What a combination. I have a way to go before I feel as if I am on top of my game again, but at least I know how to get there from here. And every step of the way is an honour, a blessing. Every day above ground is a good day. Even a hotter than hades, hell-fire-infused, smoke-infested summers' day above ground is much better than the inevitable-for-everyone-eventually, six feet under alternative, right?

Living well is all I'm trying to share via spokeNscene. Sure, it's personal sometimes, but it's also inclusive.  If you don't like it, then join the club and just click away. You'll be in great company. Promise I won't take it personally, but I do think you're crazy, you're playing on the wrong side of history. It's good this way of living, good for you and good for your community, too. And again, I've already made almost all of the mistakes it's possible to make, and have learned by them. Ha! I know more than a person really should about altogether too many vices, but I also know the way to an honest to goodness great way of living. There is a huge difference between knowing and doing though. My life actually depends upon taking the best steps forward from here, so you know which path I am on. Please do follow along with me. Give it a go. It's fun. I promise. C'mon... you know you wanna.

big big babs, hitting the trail

Oh dear, this is a looooooong and rambling post. I beg your pardon for babbling onanonanon like that. I will create a few youtube clips in the next little while, so you can see how the mission is progressing, and so I can pass along my most favourite foods, and other various and assorted ways to create healthy habits. You can't imagine what a challenge it was to post that video, BTW. I am vain. I am pretty close to rock bottom right now, all big and fat and hurting and unwell, and out of shape, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and nothing is going to get any better without some earnest effort, so here we go. I would love it if I didn't need to be lighter than I am now, but if I don't drop a few pounds, I am going to hurt even more than I do now. It's not that I am into that model thin, anorexic look, it's just that even five extra pounds adds a great deal of unnecessary stress to my poor joints. I really do fare better when I am as light as possible, without burning off any of that stabilizing muscle.

So... think about joining me on an adventure, will you? Let's see if we can't seek peak performance on the bike path to world peace. I will be back soon with a few of my favourite foods. Till then, keep spinning, and stay tuned. I'll leave you with a video of the whale we saw here in Kits a couple of nights ago, and with any luck,  we'll meet again soon.

A bump in the road: shouldering on, even though I am not very well armed.

Kits Beach

Dunno about you, but I've noticed that sometimes the universe throws you a great big curve ball, and suddenly everything changes. I don't hear the Gods laughing right now, but I can feel the hand of fate moving deftly these days.  This week I had my first physiotherapy appointment with Alex Fell and another consult with Dr Stein. Alex said that what with my connective tissue issues I do have a much better range of motion than he would have expected so soon after surgery.  Which is good and not so good at the same time.  Since I saw him last, Dr Stein has had a chance to review my files thoroughly, and what he came up with was pretty much all bad. He sat me down and had "the talk" with me.  He said that the damage to my scapula is the worst possible case scenario.  The inch all along the top is intact, and everything underneath is completely shattered into a million tiny pieces. He also said that when I crashed, the force of the impact pushed my ribs into the sternum so hard that the cartilage was pushed out and that the rib cracked where it used to connect. Well, you can see it for yourself.

See the bump? No wonder it hurts to breathe.

Dr Stein said that this is going to be a full six month recovery, and that I absolutely  must not place my shoulder under load until then.  He said "I'm sorry, but I can't give you the green light to race until next spring." I didn't cry at the time, but I did shed a tear later on, and it wasn't only because it still hurts so much that it makes me throw up sometimes. But thank goodness Bill was kind enough to lend me his trainer.  I don't know what I would do if I couldn't sweat.

And thank goodness for Bea bike, too...

I can't haul ass on it, cause the ability to stop is important, and any kind of crash is unthinkable, but at least I can still get around.

 I don't have to buy a car, and I don't need to hop on a bus, either.

Blessed be.  So even though that crash was a serious game changer, and even though it is limiting my options now, it will be alright in the end.  This time away from my road bike is giving me a chance to work on my core strength.

I can spend time with the boys...

and I can enjoy the company of friends on the beach.

All in all, life's not too bad, despite this unexpected bump in the road.  And hey!  The rest of the world seems to be finally catching on to cycling as a way of life.  It's a painfully slow process, but you can see the evidence everywhere...

It fills me with hope to see more and more people on bicycles at time ticks inexorably on. I miss being healthy, whole and unfractured. I still feel the aching need for speed every single day, but at least I'm still here, and I can still ride a little as the rest of the city slowly awakens to the best way of life...

You know what I'm talking about.

Hmmm...let's see. Which doctor is best for me?

My brain keeps protesting "But I am not left handed!" Using my left arm just doesn't seem right, but these days using my right has very painful consequences.  Dems da breaks. 

Still, you know that's not going to stop me.

Sure I miss wearing proper makeup sometimes. Never mind I've been too lazy of late to wear it much anyway.

Sure I miss laying whichever way I like, and I miss typing with two hands. I miss having a good sweat, and more than anything I miss riding my Ti Baby road bike as hard and fast as I can, but hey. Even though I can't chop, I can use a paring knife.  And as much as I hate typing singlehandedly, at least I can still text normally. It's okay. Bones heal.

And at least these legs still go. 

I make quite a spectacle lately, what with the sling and all of that roadrash. (This pussy-cat has definitely changed her spots.)  People keep stopping me, saying "What happened?!" I answer as best I can, though I'm not entirely sure what happened myself, except that we were really moving fast and I caught a wheel.  Bill very kindly noted how when the body is pushed to its limits, sometimes the brain gets a little less oxygen than might be optimal. And you know this particular brain needs all of the help it can get. It was well into the ride, and I was working hard, for sure. It was beautiful.  The. Best. Ride. Ever.  If the worst had happened and I'd died, I would have shuffled off this mortal coil a very happy woman indeed. But who knows? Perhaps if I hadn't pushed my limits, I might be riding intact today...

... instead of hobbling along at a snail's pace cause I feel every single bump in the road.

The doctors in hospital said it would be the end of August before I fully recover to race again, but I wrote a rider into that little deal. It's definitely going to be a long haul, this heal, but at least I can hop on Bea bike to get around the neighborhood if I have to. Y'know, the whole 'bike as a wheelchair for addled roadies' thing. It was a bit dodgy at first, but then one gorgeous soul moved my shifter from the right to the left hand side, and now I can cruise along just fine. As long as I keep it to a snail's pace so there aren't any bumps, that is. Cause it still really hurts to breathe.  I expect I cracked a rib or my sternum or something, but there's no point in having another x-ray to find out, cause it wouldn't change anything. (BTW - to detox undue radiation: 1c sea salt, 1 cup soda in a bath soak 20 min, 3x per week.  Needless to say, I make a habit of it.) This is a brutally painful injury, that's for sure, but I'm very lucky to have some pretty amazing doctors on my side. That means I can rest easy knowing I am getting the best possible care.

The first man my pain demanded I see was Dr Fred Meinzer, chiropractor to the BC Ballet. He's divine.  

His treatments are always gentle and magical and unbelievably healing and freeing. I always always walk away from Fred feeling blissful in the momentary suspension of tension and pain.  He's the very best, the Fred's Fred  and the day after I returned home from hospital, I reflexively called for an appointment. Fred is better than morphine, and equally addictive.  (Some dependencies are better than others, don't you think? I am a creature of habit who relies upon her healthy addictions.) It was way too early for me to get out and about, though, so I reluctantly cancelled the appointment, and waited a few days, hurting all over. When I did get there, he was so incredibly good, everything I dreamed of.  He always is. Though he didn't do any traditional chiropractic manipulations, he carefully re-aligned my poor banged up body with his little tapping machine, providing relief from the relentless pain.  I love Fred. People with my condition have to be particularly careful of neck manipulations, and he always treats me right.  I trust him with my life.

I've been seeing Dr Hal Brown at Integrative Healing Arts for years now. He's a powerful healer with an incredible education.  He should be called Drs Brown. He has a gift for diagnosis unlike any other health professional I have ever known, and you know I've met way more doctors than has your average Fred. Hal is a naturopathic doctor, a chiropractic doctor, and a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine.  He has a whole wall full of degrees and certificates and and he uses prolotherapy to stitch together my sad, weak, painful joints,with remarkable results.  I trust him implicitly, too.  He taught me that healing includes movement, a continuation of the regular athletic routine, to the greatest extent possible, because a healthy lifestyle fuels the body's ability to heal itself.  He's brilliant, Hal.

Dr Brown was concerned that I needed more comprehensive care, and so a couple of years ago, I went on the hunt for a good MD.  You wouldn't believe who I found. Of all of the many doctors I've met over the last dozen years or so, only a couple even knew what prolotherapy was.  So imagine my surprise to discover Dr Jeff Stein, a traditional doctor of western medicine who not only knows about it, but who actually offers it as a part of his practice! 

Dr Stein is a gem. He is a man ahead of his time, standing head and shoulders above his peers. He was the Olympic Freestyle Team physician, and he wisely has a number of great professionals on staff in his offices. You'll find a naturopath, a physiotherapist and orthopaedic surgeons, among others, all under one roof at the Stein Medical Clinic. Everything an athlete might need. I can't tell you what a relief it was that I'd have all of the follow-up care I could hope for at my GP's office.  I was not looking forward to the trips down to Richmond to have the staples removed from my surgery incision and have my rehabilitation monitored. This is ideal.I know that I will have the best care possible from a team of professionals who know me well.  I'm a lucky girl.

I love my life, even when it hurts.

One kind soul who loves me well recently asked "Has anyone ever laid a curse on you?" My breath caught for a split second and my heart skipped a beat before I realised that yes, yes indeed someone has. Fer real. Yer prolly laughing. That's ok. It's exactly what I did at the time, too. It happened years ago.  The person who cursed me is a scientist, a physicist with contempt for my Judeo-Christian perspective. He called himself a Thelemite, and one day he informed me dispassionately that he had placed a dark curse, a curse of chaos and entropy, upon my head. I figured if there was anything in it, love would protect me, that if I forgave him, and lived a life true to my highest purpose, that nothing like that could touch me. I shrugged it off, and forgot about it. But since then, I've had a lot of 'dances with death'.  

My kind friend, who has never displayed even a hint of a belief in God, the occult or the paranormal, suggested I do whatever I can to have the curse lifted.  So I also saw a witch doctor this week, someone to ensure that my path is a little safer in future.  That's right. A witch doctor, a light-workeer who claimed to shift my physical frequency so any curses on my head will no longer be able to find me. She's lovely, a gorgeous red-headed woman whose warm and friendly personality certainly soothed my soul if nothing else as she performed her quiet and understated ritual.

 days without my bike are always a little dark

Despite my trials and tribulations, I've long held the conviction that luck is what you make of it. Misfortune always conceals a gift, a prize of equal portent. My genes, which have created so much pain in their expression, have in so doing also made me the fit and healthy athlete I am today, and that's important to me. My body showed  me how strong muscles support weak joints, and how movement sustains happiness and well-being. 

Who knows what benefits this trauma might be hiding? Injuries are a part of sport, though I've definitely had my share of serious trauma. I learned a lot about being aware of everything happening around me in a peloton. In trying to live with this difficult situation, I've also learned something about the nature of fear. Opiates don't take pain away.  They make it not matter so much.  That's what makes meditation such a powerful weapon against pain, too.  Meditation makes it possible to experience pain without the emotional response to it.  It negates the effect of fear.  I've learned a few things this time round.  Who knows what else this healing journey might bring?

One thing I do know for sure: I'll be back on my bikes, riding hard and exploring this beautiful town again as soon as can possibly be. I hope to see you out there on two wheels, too. 

A quick spin round the feedback loop...

Thank you for all of your comments and messages, and please pardon my unexplained absence.  My computer went away for service and repair for a few days.

Someone near and dear to my heart expressed grave concerns about the sudden turn in direction which this blog has taken.  He misses the old posts.  He loves the photos in and around Vancouver, and he asked me very kindly to lighten up a little and get back to the things he loves most about spokeNscene.  He doesn't want it to change, bless him.  Don't worry.  SpokeNscene will always be about cycling, and I promise we will return to regular programming soon.

I just beg your indulgence one more time, please. It will be easier if you simply accept my apology in advance for the rambling babblelog I am about to unleash upon you.  The friend who asked me to lighten up is in good company, truth be told.  A few of you have spoken out.  Thank you, btw, for caring enough to say.  One kind reader took the time to write an insightful message which made me stop and think. I hope he doesn't mind if I share part of it with you here:

Your energy comes across loud and clear in your posts. Your message is more elusive. If there were a hierarchy maintained where the sexuality is always below the health in order of importance, your message would reach more people...If you wish to market your health ideas.

The letter in its entirety was kind and intelligent and thought provoking.  After reading it, I had an epiphany of sorts. It was very enlightening.

Someone on Reddit took offence, to the sexual selfies and a moderator who doesn't think much of me anyway used it as an opportunity to have my posts automatically deleted as spam.  You see?  My lovely reader's concern for my message being lost in the sexual content was right on the money. And I have thought long and hard about where sexuality fits into my message, though perhaps it doesn't look it. I once posted an onanastic photo early on in this blog, and quickly deleted the image from the post because of my professional standing and the fear that I would become "That Girl."  

And THAT is the thing.  As a woman I am judged upon my looks, even as I'm reminded that my worth will never equal that of a man's.  Especially not one of the Sirs of this world. Why?  I don't know. You'd think that as the sex which can gives birth, we females should be more highly valued, more precious, not less. There is no relief in God, either, with religion underscoring the devaluing of the feminine. Worse, religions all tell us that masturbation is a sin.  Why do you suppose it IS that devoutly fundamentalist societies have the highest rates of rape?  Hmmmm?  Oh never mind.  The long and the short of it is that I try to do my part to express a healthy feminine sexuality in the face of our collective madness.  And yet it's important not to lose sight of the forest for the trees. 

The message matters.  The KISS list delivers health and happiness.  Guaranteed. 

Move Bounce Purify Breathe Love a Lot Laugh and Sleep

Healthy sexuality is an important aspect of health and wellness, and yet in our mad, mad world it is tied to sin and shame and thus condemned to a pervasive and lasting legacy of violence, abuse, darkness, and fear.There was a feature on domestic violence this week, following a dramatic news story.  A man was charged with attempted murder. What is wrong with our world that most women will experience some form of sexual abuse or assault over the course of their lifetimes?! Sigh... What I have learned is that what you resist, persists. The world has long been busy condemning us women for expressing our sexuality openly and  honestly, but we're not going to go away. Sexual women are here to stay.

Oh!  I've ALSO learned that it's very easy to attract the things you fear.  

So now I am 'That Girl,"  the one peddling her ass on the internet, but its all good. 

I own it.

I am putting together a separate website for peddling babblebutt.  SpokeNscene will return to business as usual whilst I work on that, which means these posts will probably remain just slightly scarce, despite my best, most babbliscious intention to bring you news of the cycling scene here in Vancouver.

Last week Snobberdooders wrote about The Indignity of Not Commuting by Bicycle and Instead Just Going For A Ride: None, I Regret Nothing. He talked about responsibilities and noted how lucky he is to be able to squeeze in a few recreational bike rides here and there.  Just a day or so later, a girlfriend of mine mentioned how it looks like I'm living the life of Riley, what with all of the time I spend on a bike. She asked whether maybe I might have too much time on my hands.  I had to laugh, because  COME.  ON. Everybody is too busy. Right?  Everybody. Time is the one thing none of us ever has quite enough of.

I like to ride at least two hours a day, but I am literally riding for my life. Yes, that sounds super-melodramatic, for sure, but please hear me out. You know how sick and twisted I am.   This disorder is progressive and degenerative, and THAT means that its expression is intrinsically linked to the process of ageing.  That's why I study the art, magic and science of longevity, and why I am trying so hard to find the key to quantum healing.  Because even when it really hurts, I love my life.  I want to get to know my future great grandchildren and I have big plans for my 100th birthday party, so I am well motivated to find a solution to my connective tissue issues.

Last week someone said:

Great posterior -- er, post! 

The only problem is that you're preaching to the choir. This article needs to be published in one of those supermarket mags/rags that proclaim "Lose 8 lbs. in two weeks" or the like. With an emphasis on your earlier smokin' hot, er, smoking, overweight life, and how KISS made you the physical goddess you are now!

Thanks for this blog!

-NHcycler

A.  Thank you, NHcycler.  Thank you for reading, and thank you for your two cents, too.  Very kind of you.
2.  Right?! But that's the scary thing! I am both the preacher and a singer in that very same choir and STILL I was headed for trouble!!  I've cycled as a way of life since I was a teenager, even though I have had my fat times and my super-stupid times, I was definitely in the habit of taking pretty damned good care of myself last October when Dr Brown had me chart my acidity, I took stock of my physical situation, and discovered that despite my healthy lifestyle, my disease was progressing rapidly. Painfully quickly.  I was still not seeing any real results.

I had an unhealthy blood chemistry, with respect to my cholesterol levels and my risk ratio of healthy vs unhealthy fats. Cholesterol is to some extent determined by your genetics, so a couple of years ago, when my doctor told me I had high blood cholesterol despite my fit, active lifestyle, I wasn't entirely surprised. A serious clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden runs in the family, along with high cholesterol. Dad had undergone quadruple bypass surgery when he was five years younger than I am now.  The deck is stacked against me, and yet this is what my blood looks like now:

needless to say, the doctors are dead chuffed with my results.  The risk ratio is well below the recommended guidelines, and my triglyceride levels have left my physicians tickled pink.

I told you I am the anti-scientist.  I love, adore and respect science.  Absolutely.  It's just that I am way too slow and backward to be a scientist.  When it comes to the battle against the progression of my disease, I consult science.  I read as much as I can and talk to doctors, specialists, healers and friends, but in the end the decision is organic. I place my trust in the "yes" and "no" signals I get from my body, rather than the latest lab results, fashions, or trends. 

How did I attain the cholesterol levels I needed?  I just listened to my body's signals. I eat a lot of fats, in fact.  They're soooo tasty, and I like yummy food. When I cook, it's always coconut or grapeseed oil, and of course I love olives, too.  I do use dairy, though it's really best if it's organic.  I use liberal amounts of butter, and 11% bf yogurt, and OMG I love the macedonian feta from the Parthenon. (It's the best kept secret in Kits, that place:) I love love love fatty foods of all sorts! I eat plenty of avocados, eggs,seeds, and tree nuts.  All in all I have a fairly high-fat diet, and the genetic cards are stacked against me, too.  And EVEN SO!! Heh heh.  Even so, I listened to my body's signals and here we are...  

Well, I'm here. Ish.  Spanish Banks. Dunno where you are.

I'm sitting pretty damned pretty, considering what a genetic mess I am. I don't know much, but what I DO  know is that listening to my body's signals always pays off.

You saw how my body's ph balance is in a place which pleases my naturopath.  My doctor, and the son who is studying to be a doctor both say that they can see no clearly proven link between having an acidic bio-chemistry, and the ageing and degenerative processes of oxidation, but my body is abundantly clear on the subject, and that's good enough for me.  Have you tested yourself yet?  

This body has undergone some pretty dramatic changes in the last few months. I hadn't been able to run for a few years.  My knees would blow up into water-balloons  if I so much as thought about going for a run. My unstable knees were the reason I adapted the babblebounce, the lymphatic clearing exercise I will show you on video.  Every time I went out dancing I would suffer with swollen, aching knees for a week.  But not any more. Suddenly I can join the boy on runs without suffering anymore.  It's incredible, really.

What's changed?  Well, since October I have made three distinct changes to my life, each of which may well have something to do with these results.  If I were  a proper scientist, I would of course do a controlled experiment to decipher which factor affected what, but I am just so happy with the overall results (even while I battle daily to keep the disease at bay) that I am simply going to keep on keeping on.

These are the three changes I made:

1. Juicing. If you do use a pyramid to describe the best diet, the bottom bit is meant to be green. Plants should be the bulk of your diet. Here's the thing. Dr Hal said that the only people who come into his office with healthy alkalinity are the people who juice.  He said that it takes about three months of regular juicing to change your bio-chemistry.  And what do you know?  He was absolutely spot on. Some of you scientists out there may say that a body's alkalinity isn't a true indication of your body's state of resistance or receptivity to disease, but I think the naturopaths have something figured out. Do your own research and make your own decisions.  All I know is my body says yes yes yes to green juice. Kale, grapefruit, apple, and ginger is tried trusted and true, but I like to mix it up, be creative, and have fun. In the summer you can use frozen veggies and  make smoothies that taste even better than ice cream. SUPER. YUM.

2. I bumped up my daily grind from one to two hours daily, and I make a point of stimulating my lymph system whenever I am sitting for more than half an hour at a time.  I'm guessing that this is the biggest reason my cholesterol levels are so good, since triglycerides are sort of an indication that you're not burning up all of the energy you're consuming.  Also, it's important to note that the body switches from burning glucose to burning fat once you've been active for an hour and a half, so that might explain the change in my blood chemistry. I am so inspired by Olga the Magnificent and her incredible anti-ageing lifestyle, that for the first time ever, I have purchased a UCI racing  license in my efforts to make the most of this mortal coil.

3. Protandim.  I used to need between two and three hundred dollars worth of supplements each month, and now I spend less than seventy-five dollars.  And I am running again, and riding faster than I used to, and that's good enough for me.  A couple of my friends have noticed an improvement in my health and wellness since I started taking it, and have inquired about it, so racing wasn't the only type of licence I bought this month. I also bought a Protandim distributor's license, even though I lack a killer sales instinct.  It's a powerfully effective supplement. I encourage you to give it a try.

The KISS list is just a simple way to stay healthy and happy,  and you know you'll see and hear all about it once I finish my website.  Till then, you can expect somewhat regular updates here.... I promise.

See ya again soon!  :D

ps.  a couple of people asked where we were riding in that video. That was the Vet ride in Richmond a few weeks ago... et voila:

Confessions of a true dope.

 Hello, my name is Babble On and I'm a Stravaddict.

Snob scorns me, but it's no use.  I can't quit.

I am a full-on QOM junkie in need of her daily points fix.  I'll happily get up at a ridiculous hour, put on silly looking clingy clothes, and launch myself into the dark before dawn every time I can, just because I can.  And when I win one of those little crown thingies on Strava I get the best little happy buzz on TOP of a good ride high. That's whatcha call win/win.

 I couldn't quit now, even if I wanted to.

I quit quitting, anyway.  Quitting is for quitters and I'm done with all that.  Besides, I've already quit everything worth quitting, believe you me.  All that's left is the good stuff, and more than a bit of that is gone now, t-oo.  I miss chocolate sometimes, for example, but I know better than to eat it.

My body talks to me, you see.  Sometimes it even shouts a bit.

Last weekend it landed me in Cardiac Care at Vancouver General Hospital when I took an herb which disagreed with me.  My body lets me know what is healing and what is harmful for me. It lays down the law, loud and clear, and though I don't always follow ALL of the rules,  I always feel better when I pay attention to it. I've learned to trust the wisdom in these old bones, because the cost of ignoring the signals is far too high.  

Dope is for dopes.

Move over Mr Armstrong. I am the poster child for better living through chemistry. Doctors introduced me to morphine at four years of age. This body has known more prescriptions than any body has a right to. As a very young child, I was prescribed diazepam  - that's VALIUM!!-because every so often I stopped breathing and turned blue with seizure. Even as a baby I would sometimes cry and cry and even scream until finally I stopped breathing and turned blue.  Poor ol' mum figured I had anger issues, bless her, and you know mums know these things. According to EEG mapping, though, my actual Ictal Bradycardia Asystole seizures are a response to pain, a condition which came about as a result of a catastrophic head injury at nine months of age. (The parental units left the basement door open and I took a flying leap with a baby walker and ba da boom.) And from that time on, I'd scream and scream and scream, knowing that something was very very wrong.

The feeling is always the same.

It never ever happens out of the blue. I am always in some sort of gastro-intestinal distress, and so it often happens when I'm sitting on the toilet.  It's no fun returning to consciousness with a headache and a large lump on your head, so finally I has to admit that mum is right.  I'm "special."

 I make a fantastic walking talking billboard for helmets, though, don't you think?

You may recall when I told you about lovely Deborah, a reader in France who likes my muscles and who wanted to how I developed my legs... ? Her story touched me deeply because she has a serious form of muscular dystrophy and with it a longing for the one thing her body is missing:  muscle mass.  It's deeply ironic that in her search for muscles she should encounter me of all people, though.. My muscles exist in their present condition solely because of the fact that I have the very opposite condition.

I have connective tissue issues, and you'd be surprised how much of the human anatomy consists of connective tissue. 

The only reason I have learned to listen to my body's signals is that ignoring them is too painful.  Long ago I discovered that strong muscles can compensate for weak joints.  Yoga taught me that having strong core muscles supports the lax ligaments and reduces my overall levels of pain and discomfort, too.

I've learned all sorts of interesting things in my journey, so that now I am actually in better shape than ever before.  I must be doing something right, because even my eyesight is way better than it was ten years ago.  In my search for health and wellness I discovered that our bio-chemistry is altered not only through diet, sex and exercise, but also by attitude, emotions and state of mind.  Now I am stronger and fitter than ever before, and am in general exceptionally healthy, happy and well, despite my genetic disadvantage.

There are a few advantages to being a woman "of a certain age," you know.  While it's true, that as a woman you never really see yourself represented on screen nor behind the scenes, specially not once you've hit forty, it's all good.  We are well positioned to push the limits because nobody really expects much of us, anyway.

Take Olga the Magnificent for example. 

The New York Times calls her "the incredible flying nonagenarian...

she is considered one of the world’s greatest athletes, holding 23 world records, 17 in her current age category, 90 to 95." Nobody expects a 93 year old woman to be a world class track star, do they?  Most normal professionals hang up their kit before they hit 40, and no one is going to argue that there's anything much in the way of money when it comes to old lady sporting ventures, either, but the lifestyle is priceless in and of itself. 

 Olga has confounded scientists who study ageing, and she's taught them something new. According to theTimes, "It appears that exercise may stimulate the production of telomerase, an enzyme that maintains and repairs the little caps on the ends of chromosomes that keep genetic information intact when cells divide. That may explain why older athletes aren’t just more cardiovascularly fit than their sedentary counterparts — they are more free of age-related illness in general."  

It's true.  That's the reason I ride.

Bodies are made to move.  I literally ride for dear life.

In my experience, exercise triggers a whole cascade of positive effects on the body which nothing else achieves.  It's my anti-depressent, and my charger.  It gives me energy and also makes it easier to sleep at night. It boosts my sex drive. It strengthens my immune response and keeps me healthy day by day and it always, always makes me smile.  And that's crucial.  Life is supposed to be fun. The scientists testing her have noted that Olga is in the habit of ensuring her days are fun, and they are convinced that her ability to do so has made her far more resilient than she would be otherwise.

  In my books, fun is when Strava makes me Queen of Belmont Avenue. The title really should come with a palace on the avenue, though, don't you think? When I see those little crown thingies at the end of a ride, I get to ride a whole new kind of high, and that's a real gem of a tool in the war against ageing and disease. 

 I happily confess to being a dopey bike dork with a serious Stravaddiction, but don't bother feeling sorry for me.  I'm having too much fun.  Do yourself a favour instead, and join me!