Vancouver's Taboo: your ticket to ride on the wild side.

The Tour de Taboo beckoned...

ligatio

Our taboos say a lot about who we are as a society, don't you think?  Why do our Western, Judeo-Christian  mores dictate that much of our sexual lives are taboo, while violence is glorified all over the place? I just don't get it, but hey, I'm willing to explore all the possibilities in my quest to determine what makes us tick.

The contrary nature of life being what it is, time was of the essence even as Taboo beckoned, but I was bent on getting there, so the race was on.

(My entry for the World's Most Boring Video competition.
Next week I plan to thrill you with a video of paint drying on a bike frame.)

We made it with time to spare... it was a podium finish.

How apropos:

we wound our way through a long, dark tunnel, only to encounter a ginormous canoe awaiting us at the entrance. 

Imagine how many men might have had a paddle in this baby...!

As we drew nearer, things were starting to heat up.

We meandered through the great  phallic gauntlet...

 Hmmm... is a member's only club...?

Aaaaah. 

Thankfully, no.  The place was teeming with gorgeous girls,

not to mention a whack of diligent riders determined to score the hole shot.

The first character I encountered was this strapping young lad:

He's really tied to his job.

He was doing his best to rope in customers.  His enthusiasm was appealing, and it was tempting, too, but the lay-away plan was just too binding, so I displayed some restraint.

This young woman, on the other hand, was simply fit to be tied.   

My new friend made a quick sale, and our girl was homeward bound.

Oh ho ho, and what have we here?

Talk about being a slave to fashion!

Ok, lots of folks like bacon, but that's taking it a bit far, don't you think?

I'd never ask her to wear neoprene... wouldn't want to rubber the wrong way.

We found toys,

 of course

 tools galore,

and buckets of Lube so guys can grease their chains.

 There were plenty of lovely young hotties on hand, 

offering helpful tits tips and advice...

I wasn't sure where this one went

but someone told me in the end.

There was art to be found, too:

though not in my photography skills.

And what do you know? Jesus loves Porn Stars!

Thank God. What a relief. 

 I'm all for the second cumming.

There were lots of interesting couples in the room...

  here's a brazen pair.

These two were kindov cheeky...

in the best possible sense, of course.

And this young thing, in particular,

is girl after my own heart.

You've gotta love a woman with a healthy carnal appetite.

Eat your heart out, Mikael Colville Andersen.... 

 the hot girls all smile when I ask to take their picture,

which really isn't all that unusual,

 but at Taboo, even the scary girls are friendly.

There was a pole-dance competition, too.

Our lovely MC was tossing door prizes into the crowd,

but we were too far back to win anything

cause that guy throws like a girl.

(even though he hugs like a bear.)

It was a great place to hang around,

 take pictures...

aaaaand make new friends!

It was educational, too: 

 I used to think corsets must be a real pain to get into,

but it turns out they're a cinch.

It's easy to see where Betty Boop fits in...

but you have to wonder what kind of answers our intrepid reporter was expecting her to whisper in his ear...

 

Here's Betty for the new millennium, 

Samantha Mack, 

checking out the spandicks in

Spandy Andy does Taboo.

I wonder what she'll look like in the next millennium, 

and what kinds of taboos she'll be breaking then...

  Let's go and see, shall we?

It's an orgy on wheels!

  Too bad it wasn't a Hummer, cause then you could have the humdinger of all hummers in the 

Happy Hum-Vee.

It's all good, though. 

 I'm happiest pedalling my way to ecstasy, because when I'm on my bike I always get where I'm going with a smile on my face.

Happy trails, Peeps.  

Ride long, ride hard, ride well, 

and as you do, 

may you find your bliss.