Friday, 21 March 2014

All ride, already! Backpedaling, begging your pardon, and fessing up.... turns out I've made a real ass of myself.

I like to own my mistakes so I can fix them quickly and move on, and for that reason I must beg your pardon, dear reader.  Please forgive me for my last post.  It was unbelievably sanctimonious, coming from someone who is  busy peddling her ass.
I've wracked my tiny brain trying to figure out the best business model for hinder marketing.  I want everyone to have a strong ass to call their own, and this has led me to carefully consider everything that goes into making a proper arse of yourself.  It comes naturally to some of us, but you may need a few pointers. I found a photograph from thirty some odd years ago and the moment I laid eyes on it, it transported me back through the years to my first big road ride.  I was fourteen or fifteen years old when I took this, and soaked to the bone.

LOOK at those helmets!!  This was taken in Jasper National Park, en route from Jasper to Banff, I believe.

Back in those days I was as likely to be traversing the Rockies in a canoe as on a bike.

We would sleep under a tarp secured atop our canoes,

after a day spent travelling downstream through the mountains on a glacier fed river.  We spent much of that time in song, as we imagined the Voyageurs did.  I still sing at the top of my lungs when I ride!

I saw a few bear along this stretch over the years.  It's the North Saskatchewan River, and we canoed it between Nordegg and Rocky Mountain House every chance we got. This has almost nothing to do with how you're going to have that arse you've been dreaming of, but I owe my sanity to my early outdoor adventure experiences.  We all need to feel that connection with the planet we inhabit. It was there that I first understood the power and joy to be derived from old-fashioned ambulation. And my love of getting about under my own steam definitely has a lot to do with the strength and definition you see in my body today.

I built that thigh with lots of rides, beginning waaaaaay back when, but it's stronger than most, cause when the boys came along, I just added them to the bike, first in a trailer, then on a trail bike, and then on their own.  And you know I ride whenever possible, and I push a bit of weight hauling the goods home from Costco once a week or so.

My legs and my muscly butt are simply the expression of my love of bicycles.  

That, and the KISS list. The KISS list incorporates movement and basic habits I've learned through trial and tons of error. It's your distilled recipe for health and wellness, a few simple tips from a simpleton, designed to make your life better.

I've hears that people only really value the things they pay for, and that made me think at first that the KISS list should strictly be for sale, but you know me.  I think health and wellness is priceless.  I know that these things will be extremely valuable to anyone who commits to doing it, (a few friends already have!) but I can't help but babble on, and I always love to share.  So I am going to publish the KISS list here so everyone can use it as they will.  I will publish it along with Peace Pussy and the Nearly Naked Truth.  Even just adopting the first three points of the KISS list will make an enormous difference in your energy levels and general well-being.  Your body probably doesn't hold you to exacting standards the way mine does me, but yours will certainly respond well to the list. I will also set up a new YouTube channel so I can show you a few of my favourite exercises, and share a few of my favourite dishes.  Soon, I promise.  

When you notice the difference in your health and wellness, and you definitely will, you are most welcome to leave a payment.  How's that for a business model? Give it away and hope they pay later.

You can see why mum used to tell me to Keep It Simple Stupid, and why the KISS list is perfect for a girl like me.


  1. Tarps and pink canoes ...

  2. You know if I had cleavage I would definitely share it! But I will show off the Peace Pussy soon enough... XX

  3. Your cool childhood explains your cool adulthood. More power to you, Babs.

  4. Extra awesomeness!
    Interblogulating - I loved Firefly and Serenity too! i saw some girl by the actor's picture at the theater and pawed it twice like a cat and said "Pretty!". First time I heard a guy described like that!

    Comment Deleted said it very well above.

    In 1989 I crossed the US on a big Harley. One of the best times. It was quick at just 2 1/2 weeks but it was great. I would love to do the bike ride some day. ... or at least attempt!

    I am looking forward to the KISS. I was 245 now 235 and am trying to discipline my big self to get to 200. Was 180 in college at 6' but no mass at that weight really. I want to get back on the drops again!! When I do I oscillate side to side from the belly pendulum. I saw a picture of meeself at Prospect Park from the side and was suprised and mortified at the same time. I was also amazed that my little bikes manage to stay in 1 piece under my mass.

    Very thought provoking was your last post. A guy should bring the whole package to the table if he expects to associate with a gymnast beauty queen with an advanced degree, be it from ivy league or life's trials. Maybe every fridge should have a full length mirror on the door.

    I have found the weight defeat to be in the little bad decisions. I anticipate your treatise!!


    1. Thank you. You are very kind. There's one little thing I do every single morning which will for sure help you to drop a few pounds. It takes only a minute or two and it kick- starts your metabolism and help you feel better all day long. Promise.

  5. Babs,

    People need to understand how generously you pour out your thoughts and feelings on this blog. You let them in to your head and heart. Since you can't control what you think and feel, why apologize for it?

    Making judgements is for those who are too blind to see themselves.

    1. Thank you. It's true, too. When I judge someone else, the judgement says more about my shit than it does about the person I am judging.

  6. You never cease to amaze me Babs! The beautiful thoughts, love and raw passion you express in words is wonderful. You have no reason whatsover to edit yourself to conform to someone whose emotional energy is not on par with yours.

    Those of us that GET YOU, realize this and most certainly all will agree in unison that you just ROCK & Ride! Love the pics, love your idea of welcoming donations for your wisdom and guidance. Much Love & Respect! xo

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  8. Oh bless your big, beautiful heart, Rick. It`s funny, cause a lot of my strongest allies called me on that apology. I would say I lied, cause it was a little misleading, but really, I was just being super literal.
    I didn`t apologize for the content, sunshine. I apologized cause it was preachy, which is pretty cheeky for a girl intent on peddling her arse, don'tcha think?

  9. I don't think it was preachy. A lot of folks out there need a reality check... which you properly applied.