Friday, 29 March 2013

Do I really suck? The truth is hard to swallow... a blow by blow narrative.

Good day.  Good Friday

What a week. Well, maybe for you it's been easy-peasy.  With luck, you've had one long, wide, smooth open road with no unexpected turns, potholes, bumps or obstacles to slow your ride.  I hope so, because momentum is good.  It's efficient, and more importantly, it's fun.  My week wasn't like that. On Tuesday's commute, Bea bike stopped in her tracks the moment the cable snapped in the gear selector housing. You'd think that would simply leave me with one gear to pedal, but for some reason the hub just wouldn't engage at all, and pedal as I might Bea bike went no-where, so I hoofed it eight blocks to work in these boots:

People ask how I ride in high heels.  All I can tell you is that it's much easier than running in them.  On the way in to work on Tuesday I deeply appreciated just how much I love my bike. And on Wednesday I appreciated how lucky I am that the man is so handy.

The Amsterdam is fiddly at the best of times.  Left to my own devices, I'd have been stuffed. I totally suck at bike maintenance.  I can change a flat, but sometimes I forget a step.  I can make minor adjustments and tighten a nut, but that's about it, and on the Amsterdam I can't even do that much. Without the man, that snapped cable would have meant a couple of trips to the LBS for sure.
 Blessed be he doesn't suck the way I do.

I'm also pretty lucky it didn't happen on the trip just previous to Tuesday's morning commute, when I had a very small kitten in the basket, with a net over top, and the small boy cruising along in my back-draft, too.  That would have proved more challenging.  The snapped cable snafu turned out alright in the end, thanks to the man, but I encountered another stumbling block this week, something much more difficult to get over.

 I rode smack dab into a mirror of sorts, and I'm still smarting from the experience.  I caught a glimpse of myself through the eyes of others and was surprised and a little taken aback to discover that I am not very popular at all. People in the big wide world don't seem to like me much.

Needless to say, my ego doesn't like that.

Mum's nodding knowingly. 

Admittedly, those of my friends and family who still have anything to do with me are all remarkably tolerant and open minded individuals, bless 'em. They have to be, really, because I have almost all of the personality flaws there are.  You might even say I'm gifted that way. I can be super daft on occasion, too, which is always awkward at the most unexpected moments.

No, judgemental people don't tend to stick around me for long, which is a pretty big clue that I push some buttons, right?  Maybe its a kind of social turrets or something; I can't help but put my foot in it every time I open my mouth. Or login.

"What IS she going on about?" You're probably wondering.

"Oh no.  What's she said now?" my friend is thinking.

Reddit.  I tried Reddit this week.   


Look at this:

Zero Points. 3 up votes, 8 down votes,  27% approval rating... oh dear.

Look... it's that disembodied head in the sky!
Listen. You can hear Snob's voice admonishing...
You Suck At Life
It's true.  I suck.
I suck at all sorts of things.
It's embarrassing, but it's who I am.  I own it.
Happily, not all of the things I suck (at) are bad  things.
I suck pretty good wheel, for example, though not quite like this guy:

Redditor muffinmanx1

I can do it well enough, but in truth I even sort of suck at sucking wheel.  (Don't tell me how badly I do it, though. Telling me how I suck at sucking would be a low blow.) My little guy rides just a few inches off the back as naturally as breathing, but for me it's always a bit of a love/hate thing.  I love the lure of that pocket, its refuge from the wind barrier, but it's always a bit of a tense exercise in trust and acceptance, especially if there's any kind of real speed involved.

Mmmm...speed.  There's nothing quite like it, is there? It's a beautiful thing, hurtling through space on two wheels, an exhilarating, exciting, wonderful thing, and the desire to ride more miles faster than ever before draws me back into that alluring, wheel sucking love/hate pocket time and time again. 

That's ok, though.  I don't care if I suck. There are worse things.  I own it, this being good at sucking business.  It suits me. You might even say I love it.  I'm passionate about it, sucking.  How do I suck?  I'd give you a blow by blow, but you already know how it goes.

It doesn't matter how I suck, anyway, because I love to ride my bike, and that's not about to change anytime soon.  I love to ride far and I love to ride fast.  I would rather ride my bike than drive a car, because riding my bike makes me happy and I like to feel good.

There are other by-products from riding a bike, too, like legs.

Oh, and also, better immune response, higher sex drive, faster reaction times, greater longevity and vitality... and you can feel good about every trip you don't take the petrol pumps.  Driving a car thickens your waist and thins your wallet.  Riding a bike trims your waist and fattens your wallet,
 unless your name is Fred, in which case your wallet is still skinny.
The list of bicycling benefits goes on and on, 
but riding my bike makes me happy,
and that's reason enough. 

Riding a bike is the best way to get around.
It's as plain as the nose on my face
so I don't even stop to think about it any more.

But Reddit is here to remind me that other people don't feel the same way.
I feel sad for them that they are addicted to their cars and their poisonous way of life,
and frustrated that they can't see how flawed is the thinking that brought them to the place where they believe that it's acceptable to drive everywhere they go.  

(As I gasp, sucking the exhaust from their poison-mobiles.)

It's no wonder my opinions are so unpopular, is it? I was sad and disappointed that Reddit took my satire at face value, too.  My ego wanted to believe I was a true wit. Fucking hell. I hate it when I have to reconcile my beliefs about who I am with the reflection I see in the mirror.  

I suck.

 Also, I am a big suck for a warm soft cuddly pussy.

Well, the good thing is it's Good Friday. Every day above ground is a good day, and I don't have to work today. I do have a tolerant family and at least one friend who loves me, and I have my bike.  The sun is out, the road is calling, and my heart is happy again.

Peace and love all.


  1. god...i'd love to bury my face in your beautiful pussies warm soft fur & just nuzzle for hours...

    ...'cuz, really, that's one cute little kitty cat...

  2. I love little pussy,
    Her coat is so warm,
    And if I don't hurt her,
    She'll do me no harm.
    So I'll not pull her tail,
    Nor drive her away,
    But pussy and I,
    Very gently will play.

    Nice legs too!

  3. ...ohhh & btw...opinionated people, particularly the intelligent ones, (& you are both intelligent & witty) generally aren't that popular because you tend to take people out of their comfort zones by making them think...hopefully...

    ...i also know that you're smarter than to allow yourself to be judged by an on-line 'poll' like reddit...that would be a fools game...

    ...put that ego aside, knew when you started this blog, it was a vehicle to express your thoughts & feelings about 'life' by way of the bike & while you might get slowed down by a metaphorical broken cable at times, you don't let that stop you on the road you're on, ya ???... do a damn good job of exposing irregularities in daily life, you do a wonderfully humorous job of exposing your own weaknesses & a damn fine job in exposing a little leg...

    ...get back on the bike...

  4. You don't suck at ROLLING with the punches.

    1. Ha! Thank you! Yes, it's the only way, really. Resistance is futile.

  5. I'm sorry but I feel compelled to insist on a fine point of cycling terminology. That fellow isn't 'sucking wheel,' he's 'skitching.'

    1. ...& here i thought that was what the wannabe pros called a 'garbage ride'...

      ...guess that's somethin' else...